Church

I went to church today. Honestly, the reasons I went were because Jeff is not home and it helped break up the day and mom likes it when I go with her.

I am a Christian. I believe in God and in the past have been a VERY active participant. I love the work of the church and some of the fellowship activities. I enjoy being a contributing member. Recently though, I've gotten "out of the habit" for several reasons.

#1 Jeff works six days a week. Sunday is the only day I have him here to help me with the chores I'm not physically able to complete myself. If we want to have a fun day, this must be squeezed in on Sunday after the "have to's" are complete.

#2 When we were most active in the church, we got burned out and disillusioned by several events. I don't support some of the activities 100%.

#3 And, not unlike other functions, it is nearly impossible for me to sit there for one hour. I can't sit anywhere for one hour. I HAVE to be doing something. I take notes, write lists, play word games to get through. Don't misunderstand me - I am listening (usually) to the sermon while I'm putting pencil to paper. Again, I cannot just sit there!

#4 Many times I come out of church feeling worse than when I arrived.

Do you have advice, other than praying about it? . I've never been really good at that either.

Signed; The lady who wants to want to go church

Rules are Not Meant to be Broken!

Rich, I told you that you got me started. So here it goes. If you find typos, misspellings, it's because I'm typing as fast as I'm thinking.

I've seen a steady decline in the behavior of middle school students and for the most part, I think we as adults are just reaping what we've sown. It seems that for every discipline problem we hear and accept a multitude of excuses. "I haven't had my medicine", "He/she has a rotten home life", "I didn't get enough sleep last night", etc., etc., etc.
These excuses will not fly as an adult.

There are days when I could use a little medicine, but because I don't take it can I act like an idiot and expect people to just ignore me? Many of us have had not so "Leave it to Beaver" childhoods, but by gosh, by the time you are in middle school you have been around enough good examples that at this point, you are CHOOSING to act in an inappropriate manner. Let me hear these kids tell their future bosses that a deadline wasn't met because, "I stayed up and watched TV too late".

On the flip-side lets think about our responsibilities and actions as adults. We are expected to follow the rules too. I can remember telling Farrah, "Yes, I know you think it is a stupid rule. I might even think it is a bit much. However, it is a rule so it must be followed."

When a deadline for us is set, I've never seen the posting to say, "Please return by 00/00/00, unless you are too tired, too busy, had to be gone last night or you think this project is unneccessary, etc."

Not one of the stop signs say, "55 miles mph unless you are in a hurry or nothing is coming".

The law does not say that "driving under the influence is illegal unless you are a 45 year old man/woman who has had a bad day."

I'm sure you've heard this line. "The 10 commandments were not named the 10 suggestions for a reason".Adultery is wrong, whether your spouse is being as attentive as you'd like them to be or not. Lying is a sin always. It is not okay to lie to keep yourself out of trouble or make yourself appear to be better than you are.

Gossipping can destroy a work place as quickly as the plague. If it is not your story to tell - don't tell it.

While I fear for the future of our ill-behaved students and my generation as a result of these ill-behaved youth, I believe we just might make some headway if we stop and check on our own actions occasionally. I've heard adults tell children that they've "earned the right" because of age, to do this or that. No, we haven't earned the right to break the rules or laws. As adults it is our responsibility to uphold these in an effort to set the best example we possibly can. We should not expect more out of our children then we expect from ourselves.

Remember, the true measure of character is how you behave when no one is watching. If that doesn't impress you - perhaps it would be wise for us all to remember that there is ALWAYS SOMEONE WATCHING.

Middle Schoolers

It is my experience that the middle school age is the roughest for all concerned. It's common to hear parents, mothers especially, talk about the terrible twos. I never related to that. I loved being a mom to a two year old. In my opinion, as a mom, we should refer to the terrible thirteens!

This is on my mind now, as I just finished a lengthy conversation with a 13 year old. I listened as she talked about her opinions and feelings on various topics. Friends: Sometimes people who you think are your friends, aren't really your friends. It's hard to find friends you can really trust. Show Offs: Some people continually have to tell you how smart they are, how pretty they are, etc. Boys: One day you think one is really cute and the next day you look at him and think, "He really needs a haircut". Emotions: Sometimes you just burst into tears for no real reason.

Yes, the middle school years are tough. These kids are learning some of the hardest life lessons at the same time their hormones decide to take control. They don't know if they want to be/should be diligent in their studies or try to disguise their love of learning, so they can be considered "cool". They wonder if their parents really know what they are talking about. At this age they want their independence and need to be heard.They question authority and their own personal beliefs because they are so unsure of both. They crave and need the security of their home and families, but fight this need in an effort to become their own person. Yet, they don't quite know who that person is.

I remember trying my best, as a mom, to be supportive but having to struggle with my own emotions. It's hard to tell your child that this too shall pass and that whatever he/she is going through is just part of growing up. It's especially hard when deep down you really want to go to school and give the person that is causing your child's heartache a piece of your own mind. It's hard to tell them it will all be okay when you know from personal experience that it may take a long time for your child to learn how to cope with all this.

And cope they must, because even in the adult world, these life lessons continue. You will still discover that all friends aren't true, some people will always have the need to show off, there will still be days when you just feel like bursting into tears and on occasion you won't be able to help but notice that the guy/man you are with really does look pretty scruffy.

I'm Home!

The reunion is over! I probably recognized 4 out of the 50 people in attendance. I guess it wasn't as bad as it could have been, but you can bet the only reason we went was so we could take Jeff's mom. This was a reunion of her family.

Jeff's mom is the youngest of twelve children. She is eighty-six. There are only two of them left. Her other surviving sister is 96 and in a nursing home. Lila was the oldest one there. There were at least three generations below her at the reunion. Jeff and I pretty much just stayed seated and listened.

I really do value family, but mostly immediate family. My mom, Jeff's mom, our siblings, and several first cousins are important to me, AND OF COURSE FARRAH AND JIM ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT, but I'm not much into branching out. I have never been one to believe that you have an automatic connection with or love for (far removed) family members, just because they are family.

Another thing . . . I don't like crowds. I have lots of friends who are far more important to me than many relatives, but I wouldn't enjoy them 50 at a time either. I like small social occasions; going out to dinner with another couple, having Farrah and Jim home, visiting one on one.

Needless to say, I'm glad this event is over. And yes I'm glad we were able to take Jeff's mom. She had a great time - so I guess that's what's important.

Family Reunions

Am I the only person in the world who doesn't like family reunions? That's where I'll be tomorrow. :(

I Need a Routine

Now I can't say that I truly relish getting up at 5:15 a.m, leaving for school before daylight and returning home after dark. I really can't say that I enjoy making calls to find subs between 5:30.a.m. and 6:30 a.m. or keeping my line open until 9:00 p.m. at night in case I have to make more of those calls, but I can say without a doubt . . . I NEED A ROUTINE.

I do enjoy being home. I've always enjoyed my home and all the domestic duties, but as I get older I don't see the need for undertaking all the chores I once did. I don't cook the lavish meals I did when Farrah was home, and isn't it odd that I don't notice the dust as much now either. When all the basic housekeeping duties were complete, I used to enjoy painting a room, cleaning out the garage, etc. Not any more. I haven't become lazy as I am still at my happiest when I am working on something, but my likes and dislikes have definitely changed.

This morning I vacuumed, dusted, watered the flowers, and cleaned the screened in porch. I was done with this by 9:15 a.m. Since then I've made a couple of phone calls, worked on some school stuff and ate more BBQ Chicken, but mostly I've just walked around the house accomplishing little else. I told Jeff (husband) that this summer I've had an overwhelmingly desire to take a nap around 2:00 p.m. His opinion is that if I feel like taking a nap, I must need one so therefore should take it. This doesn't make sense to me since I don't feel the need for a nap when I'm at school.

I guess I haven't learned anything new. I've always known I need to be busy. I need to have a plan or goal or project. I need to be accomplishing something . I don't like waste; wasting time, wasting space, etc. So to keep me from feeling like I've wasted the afternoon . . . I'm going to go eat more chicken.

BBQ Chicken

My mom makes the absolutely best BBQ chicken. I love it so much (and she knows this), that she always brings me a whole BBQ chicken for my birthday. This year I was on my 25th wedding anniversary/second honeymoon trip during my birthday. Of course I didn't mention that I missed the traditional birthday chicken to mom, because she already had had the burden of taking care of our house while we were in Niagara Falls.

You can only imagine how pleasantly surprised I was to answer the door this morning and find mom with a fresh out of the oven BBQ chicken. This is going to be a great afternoon - just me and the chicken.

George Carlin

I love George Carlin. Although he often uses some unnecessary four letter words, I am able to overlook that. His humor, to me, is thought provoking and filled with common sense questions. For instance:

"Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?"

"I think we've outgrown the word gripe. When everyone has automatic weapons, a word like gripe is sort of irrelevant."

and . . . "Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that crap."

Good Day

This has been a good day - it was a Betty day. Days I spend with Betty are always fun and most of the time an adventure.

We began with breakfast at Biancke's in Cynthiana. This has become a tradition for us any time we head south. Our next destination was Winchester to visit the graves of Betty's mom, uncle and maternal grandparents. It always makes us laugh to know her grandparents are in "Section 8" (of the cemetery). We watered the rose bushes, sprinkled some fertilizer, did a little trimming and I listened to some memories of Betty's.

From Winchester we traveled to Mt. Sterling to visit the graves of her paternal grandparents; although we couldn't find them. Betty remembered they were close to a certain statue, on a hill. We found the statue and many hills, but no grandparents.

After this we just took a drive through the countryside. We had an early/relaxing dinner at Caproni's in Maysville and then back to Butler.

Sometimes I feel a bit guilty for not visiting the graves of my own family. Mom regularly tends to these, but I just cannot bring myself to go. I'm enough removed from Betty's family that it doesn't sadden me too much. Visiting my grandma and grandpa's graves is just something I don't think I can handle. I'm about ready to cry now just thinking about it.

First Official Post

This "blogging" is more confusing than I thought it would be. Rich's blog spot looks so clear and organized. I only hope mine makes sense once I click on "Publish Post". Yes, I've read "Help" more than once, but I'm still confused.