Butt Prints in The Sand

The other day at school, in the office, I (innocently) asked Melissa, "Have you ever seen my butt prints in the sand?" Knowing what I meant, it didn't occur to me how the question sounded to Melissa and others who were listening, until everyone's heads turned and (quiet, soft-spoken) Melissa turned red.

The following parody of a popular poem is more powerful to me than the original. This is the message I think needs to get out.

Butt Prints In The Sand

One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"
Those prints are large and round and neat,

"But Lord they are too big for feet."

"My child," He said in somber tones,
"For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait."

"You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know.
So I got tired, I got fed up,

and there I dropped you on your butt."

"Because in life, there comes a time,

when one must fight, and one must climb.
When one must rise and take a stand,

or leave their butt prints in the sand."

author unknown

Let's Talk Toes and Theatre!

For three years I've had toe problems. Each of my little/baby toes appeared to have toenails that split right down the middle. Some days they hurt A LOT, but other days there was hardly any pain at all. However, a couple of weeks ago, I had to go home at lunch and put on little slippers, because they hurt so badly. I finally relented, and called a podiatrist.

So, after having this problem for three years, when is my appointment????Right in the middle of the biggest snow storm of the year. Thank goodness Jeff was able to take 1/2 day of vacation to take me.

The diagnosis? Durlacher's corns. With the combination of age (I hate it when a doctor says that) and genetics, this malady is not all that uncommon. My little toes have slowly turned outward AND gotten a little bigger. Because of the way they are now slanted, I've been walking on the bones of my little toes. The corns grow to protect the bone. (I think it's neat the way the body has of protecting itself).

The bottom line? Surgery. They will remove the corns and some bone of each toe. The surgery will take an hour. I'll be in the hospital for 4-5 hours and recuperation will be about ten days. The first couple of days I'll need someone to be with me, because I'll be in a good bit of pain.

My contract calls for me to work about 2-3 weeks longer than the teachers and students. This time is used to take care of all the end of year reporting, and basically just "closing up". Traditionally the last week I'm there is pretty slow. It's too soon to start on the beginning of the year activities and by then all the end of year activities are complete. So, I was thinking I would use five sick days (I have LOTS) during that last, long week.

Now - theatre . . . I was 99% sure I was going to audition for KRT this year. This year is Music Man and this year I'm really in the mood. I loved being in plays at school, I've never had a fear of "acting" and to toot my own horn . . . I'm a darn good actress. I do it every day! To audition I have to take a head shot, dancing shoes, sing a song and do a 1-1/2 minute dialogue. The only thing that intimidates me is the singing.

But now, I've got the toe surgery to worry about. Of course there's a good chance I won't be given a role, but what if I am? I don't know when rehearsals will begin and what if I have complications from the surgery? What if I'm selected and then have to back out? The play runs from the middle of June to the middle of July. I don't want to wait until July/August to have the surgery. This is a dilemma. Any comments, ideas, advice???

Teeth

Since I know that everyone is wondering about my teeth, :), I decided to update you.

I've had temporary teeth for weeks. A week ago today I was supposed to get my permanent ones. After being in "the chair" for an hour, with a lot of activity going on in my mouth, the dentist decided he didn't like the way the permanent teeth looked. He told me they had to be sent back to the lab for adjustment, but I should have them within the week. Today has been a week.

Now to back up . . . Friday night has been pizza night at our house for literally years. However since I'm not supposed to be eating anything that requires biting with my front teeth while I'm wearing the temps, I've just been eating a salad. So, Friday night while being good and eating my salad, the temps fell off and I bit them before I realized what was happening. At this point the temps were in two pieces - broken right down the middle. I was happy to find that I could put them back on and you couldn't even tell they had been broken.

Then comes Saturday. While eating a cracker, chewing on my back teeth only, I heard/felt a loud crack. Yep, the temps had fallen off again. I spit out the cracker/temp mixture. Much to my dismay, only 1/4 of the temps were there. You guessed it. I'd swallowed the rest.

For the first time ever, I had to call the emergency number. Two hours later I had a new set of temporary teeth.

Dental hygiene shouldn't be this difficult.